We're very lucky.
Jack is the sort of child
we all assume we'll have
when we decide to have children,
and the sort of child
less experienced parents
congratulate themselves for.January and February 2004
March and April 2004
May and June 2004
July and August 2004
September and October 2004
November and December 2004
Blogs we read:
Wednesday, Jan. 05, 2005 - (Mamma)
Laughter
Rod and I both grew up with Irish immigrant fathers. Neither was a first generation immigrant, and their familes had emigrated to different countries, but there seems to be something very strong in the Irish family dynamic, because that similarity is something we find we have very much in common, and it informs our own family life with Jack.
It's hard to put a lot of it into words. How do you define the strong imperitive to hard work and contribution?
But one characteristic that is easy to identify is laughter. Both of our fathers were men who loved to laugh and who were well-beloved for their sense of humour and their "larger than life" personalities.
Although I have mainly inherited my mother's far more decorous and demure public personality, under the right influence I can be the world's biggest goofball at home and with my children. Rod has inherited his father's larger than life personality and provides just that influence.
I was thinking about that as put Jack to bed last night.
Jack is growing up thinking of laughter and silliness as being the "normal" state of affairs. There is never a day that he doesn't laugh uproariously many times a day with his parents. Most things that happen are turned into a cause for amusement. Although I was just as goofy and silly with my older boys, the sense of laughter was not nearly as pervasive in their lives as it has been for Jack. I wish it had been. I am happy for Jack. That sense of joy in life will stand him in good stead, whatever may come to him.
Oh the things you realize, after it's too late, that you want to thank your parents for.
Mr. Personality
There is something else I learned about Jack over the holiday. Oh, Rod had mentioned it several times, but I assumed he was just being a "proud pappa". But no ...
Jack seems to have a way of charming nearly everyone he meets.
I think he may have inherited that from his grandfathers, who were both, as I mentioned, well-beloved wherever they went.
Oh, there are people who love babies and are easy to charm. You know the sort -- put an orangutan in a jumper and they'll rave on about how cute your baby is! And there are always people who consider it "polite" to remark on the babies of friends or people thy deal with. I thought that was what I was seeing when I went out with Jack, though I did have the impression that the world had become a lot more child-friendly in the last 20 years.
But there are also the people who will cross the street when they see a child coming, and who, if they're forced to deal with one look like they're sucking lemons the whole time. It was those that convinced me that Jack may be unusual.
As we went about our business over the holiday, Jack and I did errands together that Jack usually assists Dad with. Rarely did we leave a store without a balloon, a sticker, or a cookie. I began to notice that not all of the children we saw had balloons as they left.
Then we took Jack to get his passport. The man behind the desk was grim. He seemed annoyed to have to deal with us and he refused to look at Jack at all.
Then it was time to take Jack's passport photo. He had to look at Jack and deal with him. Within minutes, he had thawed and was smiling warmly and chatting with Jack. He even returned Jack's droll wink! Not just for the duration of the photo, but even afterward, his attitude was changed and he didn't seem to mind dealing with us after all.
It was very strange.
And it kept happening.
Another time, we had to pass through the guarded metal detectors that arm city hall to get some paper work dealt with.
The men on guard duty are "all business" and very aware of the potential danger they are guarding against. They don't usually engage in small talk or social niceties with the people entering and leaving the building.
I had gone through alone earlier in the day and my "Hello" was rebuffed gruffly.
When we went back together to finish up our business. Rod and I put the contents of our pockets into the trays to be x-rayed, and then I walked through the metal detector, leaving Jack with Rod, and then called Jack to follow me.
I went through fine, but Jack, who didn't even have pockets, set off the metal detector, drawing us to the attention of the fellows on guard duty.
At first they were gruff. But as I undid Jack's jacket, revealing enormous metal bucles on his overalls, they warmed up and began to flirt with Jack and ask him questions (What's your name? How old are you?). The weren't even slightly concerned -- even ignoring the tiny pocket knife Rod had inadvertently left on his key chain! -- and continued to flirt with Jack. When Rod went back later to reclaim his keys, they said "You're Jack's Dad! You take good care of that boy!"
It makes me wonder what Jack's future holds.
He could be a great diplomat. At least, he will be the best loved fish and chips vendor on the block or the most sought-after assistant at the home hardware store, like his grandfathers were.
Either way, I hope he continues to have the gift of making people happier and I hope he gets the benefit of his gift as he grows.
Life isn't easy -- but it only rarely has to be as difficult as some people make it. Jack seems to have the knack for reminding people of that.
