We're very lucky.
Jack is the sort of child
we all assume we'll have
when we decide to have children,
and the sort of child
less experienced parents
congratulate themselves for.January and February 2004
March and April 2004
May and June 2004
July and August 2004
September and October 2004
November and December 2004
Blogs we read:
Monday, Oct. 11, 2004 - (Mamma)
It finally happened!
Well, I put it off as long as I could.
We all knew that Jack would handle it a lot better than I would -- but I preferred to pretend it was Jack we were taking our time for.
But earlier this week, I got a note from Herne's Mamma asking if Jack could come over and play without us this weekend. (Well, actually, she offered to babysit, since she knows that Rod and I hadn't had a "date" as a couple since before Jack was born.)
Now Herne's family is exactly the sort of family I want Jack to experience. Nancy and Gene have four little boys. Two older than Jack, two younger. (Herne is three weeks younger than Jack and doesn't *really* count as younger, but you know what I mean...) With four little boys, their family is always ina state of happy (well, and occasionally ot so happy) chaos -- just like the family's Rod and I grew up in! It always feels like "home" when we go to visit!
I had two choices. I could put it off and admit that I'm a wimp, or I could suck it up and let Jack grow up.
I have five brothers and three sons. I'm more used to sucking it up than to admitting I'm a wimp, so I gratefully agreed. After all, as worried as I was about Jack's reaction, I also miss having time alone with that gorgeous man I seduced across the planet!
So, on Sunday, after trying unsuccessfully to feed Jack dinner (he appeared to know something was up) we headed over to Gene and Nancy's. As we left the apartment, I explained to Jack that we were going to Herne's house, and that he would stay and play for a while while Mamma and Dad were gone, but that we'd come home and get him before we went home to sleep.
When we arrived (an almost 30 minute drive across town) I explained again before we went in.
Then we all hung out for nearly an hour, chatting with Nancy, Gene, and their friend Julie about the houses Julie has seen recently in her pursuit of an appropriate house to buy.
Then the time had come. I picked jack up, hugged him, explained again that Daddy and I were going aay for one hour, and that we'd come back in one hour to get him and go home to sleep. Then I handed him Lovey the Bear, handed him to Gene, and we waved goodbye, and left.
Jack seemed completely unconcerned as we left. As we passed the window on our way to car, he was evidently deeply involved in some exciting event in the house. So far so good! I was pleased. (I doubt I could have relaxed had he been screaming when we left.)
Rod and I sat in the car briefly discussing where we should go.
He had his cell phone on him, and we had left instructins that Nancy was to call if Jack was inconsolable too long -- though I had the distinct impression that she has a larger tolerance for that than I do.
We finally decide that since neither of us feels well, we would go to McDonalds. We rarely eat junk food -- but they have a lovely chocolate rasberry capucino...and I needed coffee. (And I hesitated to commit to a sitdwon meal on our first outing ... what if Jack needs us?)
We ordered and ate -- simultaneously announcing "He's just noticed we're gone" about 15 minutes into our meal.
As is usually the case with these things, we talked more about Jack than anything else...but we didn't have to pick up any food off the floor when we left, and we got to eat without sharing or chasing a small person across the table after every few bites -- it was fun!
And we did use the privacy to figure out how we're going to go about finding out how much of a deposit we need to buy a a new home for ourselves.
(We are already eight months ahead of schedule on our debt elimination program, thanks to Rod's great financial accumen and our mutual determination -- and this, if we can pull it off, will be our reward! It will also save us a lot that we can use for our "reloaction fund" for moving back to Australia.)
But back to Jack -- we arrived to find him sitting happily in the living room with Nancy and Gene -- all the othr children were in bed. He was happy to see us, but we didn't get the impression he'd particualrly missed us. Gene and Nancy verified that he'd been fine, though he did miss us at a few junctures.
Success!
Now I doubt this would have been as successful if it hadn't been for Jack's familiarity with Gene and Nancy. We visit there often, so the family and the house are familiar and they have graciously allowed us to "borrow" Herne for play dates and overnights once a month or so, so Herne was a living reminder that children do visit without their parents, and then they go home again.
So, we may be able to leave jack every so often for dates -- having had one successful experience I feel better about trying other, maybe less familiar, visits.
But not too often.
